Welcome to my blog!
were coming to an end with January 2017 so what a perfect time to update you on my year so far.
positive changes i set myself to make 2017 my year and not mental healths year..
- Dry January- cut down alcohol and make some money for charity
- diet change!- wanted to shed some weight so i went on a health rampage
- quit smoking- I’m not a full time smoker but i smoke when i drink
- start of new job in fancy company
What i did to totally fuck this up already!
- I quit dry January 4 days before i made it to the end and went on a boozy night out
- that involved smoking..
- my diet slipped a bit and i caved in to chocolate and binge eating
- and i am currently still off work ‘sick’ 7 days counting due to my anxiety (i’ve only been at the job 3 weeks..)
Welcome to a ‘new year new me’ NOT!
Well I’m definitely stuck with what to do now, I cant face going back to work after missing so much of my initial training and my failed excuse of ‘being sick’ FOR 7 DAYS?!?
The thing is i need the income as i’m in a little bit of financial trouble.. silly me got myself into debt when I wasn’t in the right state of mind.
So the options i’ve come up with after my mum has basically told me to ‘keep a job down or your on the streets’ (yeah she’s not very patient and understanding with my mental health..)
- Kill myself- i’d be rid of all my problems in a flash!
- become bankrupt or something and be un- credit worthy for 6 years! meaning no progression in life for 6 whole years! but it would give me less pressure to sort out my issues..
- have an actual supportive and understanding set of family members and friends that could help me through this!
At this moment in time number 1 seems like the easiest option but unfortunately i have a conscious and I’m not a selfish person so killing myself would be hard.
Hope you ‘enjoyed’ my first post and if you have any advice or opinions feel free to comment.