2017 was suppose to be a fresh start..

Welcome to my blog!

were coming to an end with January 2017 so what a perfect time to update you on my year so far.

positive changes i set myself to make 2017 my year and not mental healths year..

1. Dry January- cut down alcohol and make some money for charity
2. diet change!- wanted to shed some weight so i went on a health rampage
3. quit smoking- I’m not a full time smoker but i smoke when i drink
4. start of new job in fancy company

What i did to totally fuck this up already!

1. I quit dry January 4 days before i made it to the end and went on a boozy night out
2. that involved smoking..
3. my diet slipped a bit and i caved in to chocolate and binge eating
4. and i am currently still off work ‘sick’ 7 days counting due to my anxiety (i’ve only been at the job 3 weeks..)

Welcome to a ‘new year new me’ NOT!

Well I’m definitely stuck with what to do now, I cant face going back to work after missing so much of my initial training and my failed excuse of ‘being sick’ FOR 7 DAYS?!?

The thing is i need the income as i’m in a little bit of financial trouble.. silly me got myself into debt when I wasn’t in the right state of mind.

So the options i’ve come up with after my mum has basically told me to ‘keep a job down or your on the streets’ (yeah she’s not very patient and understanding with my mental health..)

1. Kill myself- i’d be rid of all my problems in a flash!
2. become bankrupt or something and be un- credit worthy for 6 years! meaning no progression in life for 6 whole years! but it would give me less pressure to sort out my issues..
3. have an actual supportive and understanding set of family members and friends that could help me through this!

At this moment in time number 1 seems like the easiest option but unfortunately i have a conscious and I’m not a selfish person so killing myself would be hard.

Hope you ‘enjoyed’ my first post and if you have any advice or opinions feel free to comment.

A xx