Drinking coffee thinking blues

So today i ventured out to one of my favourite coffee shops.

I’m drinking my favourite coffee and typing my blog post whilst watching the world pass by. Tonight I’m off to my local pub with my fiance and his siblings with their partners to have a few drinks. I’ve been thinking a lot today about what this year will bring and the fate of my future. I seem to have lost all care in the world! I just don’t feel as panicked as i should be considering i may have lost my job and may not be able to may my bills as of next month. My parents are going mad at me, about how disappointed they are with me and how i need to get my life together. all i feel like doing is drinking and being reckless. not thinking about tomorrow just focus on drowning everything out and get wasted. I’m probably in denial about my situation. The only good thing thats come out of this year is i seem to have lost my appetite. Hopefully that will help me loose a few pounds so i can have my ideal stick body every girl dreams of..

I was thinking last night about how i used to look and how i was when i was aged 16-18. I really took for granted everything back then. I was skinny, pretty, had all the latest clothes trends and the opportunity to really make something of my future. I really fucked that up didn’t i. Instead i just piled on weight, went through a lot of adult shit and lost my confidence and gained anxiety and depression.

This blog post didn’t really go anywhere today, just me rambling on about my life.

See you soon.

 

A xx

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